


BadEnd

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, harry might be a murderer, harrys a sick bastard, lol, louis is underage, please read to find out, this is a one shot, wow louis is young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a badend story</p><p>louis is manipulated</p><p>harry is a sick boy</p><p>what could possibly go wrong</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"He was very tiny, I think he had just been born when my step dad married my mum. He had full custody of him before they married." I say. "It was just...so strange, how small he was." I smile as the image of tiny baby Louis flashes through my mind. The psychiatrist nods. 

"Ok, and how old we're you when you two were introduced?" He asks, tapping his pen against his clipboard patiently. 

"I was five." I said. He nodded slowly, writing something down. 

"So, Harry. What ever started your fascination with being in control of Louis?" 

"I don't know, I guess it was just the fact that he was smaller than me, and that I could have power over him." 

"When did this start?" 

"When I was 15..."

****

I sat on the couch, watching as Louis thumbed through a book. He seemed content, entertained. I just stared. 

"Harry, when's mum supposed to be home?" He says idly. 

"In a few hours." I say mildly. He glances at me and smiles. 

"What do you want to do?" He asks with a broad smile. I sit there and ponder a second, before getting an awful idea. 

"Louis." I start. "Come here for a sec." He nods and comes over. His eyes follow my hands as I reach down, pulling down the zipper on my pants. He looks confused. 

"What are you doing?" He question. I smile. 

"Trust me, Louis. It'll be fun." I say putting my hands on his shoulders and putting him on his knees. He nods a little, completely trusting me. 

"So, what are we doing?" He asks as he watches me pull out my dick. He looks at me, blue eyes completely innocent, beautiful. I smile. 

"Just put your mouth on here." I say, watching as he scoots closer on his knees. 

"Ok. You're sure it will be fun?" 

"I promise." I put my hand over my heart and smile at him. "Now don't put it all in your mouth, only what will fit ok?" He nods a little, then does what I ask. He'a hesitant at first, but he wraps his small mouth around me, pushing his head down as far as he can. 

I close my eyes, leaning my head back, surprised at how good he's doing. To be honest, I'd had horrible fantasies of me just dominating little Louis, forcing myself into him, listening to his tiny, mewling moans as I hit his spot just right, the feeling of his little mouth around my dick. It was heaven, this little boy's mouth. 

His hand wrapped around me, as he continuously bobbed his head, every so often glancing up at me through his eyelashes. It drove me wild to see him so submissive, in my control. I could do anything I wanted with this boy, because he trusted me, he loved me. 

I could do absolutely anything.

****

The psychiatrist took off his glasses, putting down his pen and stopping his writing mid sentence, it seems, looking at me. "And that was the first time you and Louis had any sort of sexual interaction?" I nod. 

"But it wasn't the last." I say, fiddling with my hospital bracelet. 

"I know it wasn't." He murmurs before going back to writing. He seemed to be putting every detail on paper. "What did Louis think after doing this, Harry?" 

I ponder, replaying the memory a few times before remembering. "He looked at me like he had done the best thing ever. He was so glad he made me happy. He was proud of himself. Hell, I was proud. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had to say the least." 

The psychiatrist cringes slightly at the thought of a barely ten year old boy having such an awful thing done to him, but he nods. 

"Did your parents ever find out about that incident?" He asks. I shake my head, looking at my bracelet. 'Styles, Harry; Psychiatric Ward Patient #19578'. They assumed I was crazy. But then again, I guess I was. Louis was my little brother after all. 

"And you, Harry, what did you do after?" He asks, his pen prepared. I sigh and think back. 

"Well, whenever mum and dad left, I'd take him..."

****

He hugged mum tightly as she left, waving to us both. "You be good for Harry now, Louis. Do what he says." She says, kissing his forehead one last time before closing the door, exiting the house. He turns to me as I lean against the edge of the couch. 

"What are we gonna do today, Harry?" He says excitedly, eyes shining brightly. He seemed so excited to do whatever I wanted, and he loved what I would do to him. 

"I was thinking we could try something new today." I say with a small smile. He jumps up and down with excitement. 

"What!" He exclaims. I pick him up bridal style and take him into my bedroom. He giggles. "What are we doing, Harry!" He asks again. I gently lay him down, a grin spreading across my face. 

"I'm gonna fuck you." I say. He frowns, confused, as I tug down his pants. 

"What does that mean?" He asks, knowing to pull of his shirt. I quickly strip myself, then push against him. He gasps. 

"It means..." I reach into my bedside table drawer and pull out a tube of lube, putting some on my fingers. I gently slide them into him, and he gasps, gripping my hand. 

"Harry!" He moans quietly, his little body trembling under my touch. I sigh contently, opening him up. 

"It's ok, Lou baby, trust me. I know what I'm doing." I murmur slowly, feeling my dick twitch as he clenches around my fingers. "I know what I'm doing." I reassure. He nods, trying to relax. I finger him, listening to his tiny moans as my fingers brush his spot. He pulls my hand out, gasping for breath. 

"That feels so good." He whispers. I smile and nod. 

"This will feel even better..." I say slowly as I ease into him, rocking my hips, hitting his spot right away. He cries out, tears brimming in his eyes. 

"Harry!" He cries. "Th-that..." He struggles, as if not being able to decide if it hurts or if it feels good. 

"It will feel real good in a second Louis." I say, moving in and out of him repeatedly. "I promise." I grit my teeth, trying to get a little deeper in. He's so tight, it feels amazing. Such a small boy, all under my control. I can't hear anything but the blood pounding in my ears and Louis' small, ecstasy filled screams as I pound into him, losing myself in the pleasure. He grips my arms, whimpering softly. 

Quickly enough, I reach my orgasm, holding Louis close to me. He holds my head, playing with my curls. He's still shaking a little after a few minutes of just laying there, so I flip us over so he's sitting on my lap. 

"Was that fun, Louis?" I ask, smiling at him. He nods, a big smile on his face. 

"Can we do it again sometime?" He asks, laying against my chest. I nod, wrapping my arms around him. 

"Of course."

****

The psychiatrist has an appalled look on his face. "And Louis..?" 

"He loved it." I say, smiling. "He loved every minute of it, of me. He did whatever I wanted." I fold my hands in my lap. 

"And your parents?" 

"Still never knew. Even Louis, he was a smart, smart boy, didn't tell them. I didn't even tell him not to tell. It's like he knew that it was something to be kept secret." My mind keeps flashing back to moments I claimed him as mine, kissed him, watched as he blew me, fucked him senseless...it's making me want him all over again. 

The psychiatrist nods slowly, seeming to not be able to fathom what I did to my brother. He ponders at his next question. 

"Tell me." He starts, putting his glasses on again. "How long did this go on?" 

"For a few years. When he was thirteen, he had grown accustomed to what we had done, and we would continue to do." 

"And you were eighteen, correct?" He asks. I nod, thinking back to all that happened the year he was thirteen. So much happened. "Harry, did any of Louis' schoolmates know about what you did." I have to roll that question around in my head a few times. Had Louis told anyone at all? 

"I don't think so, no." 

"So no one but you two knew this was going on?" 

"You've that many times now, Doctor." I say with a smile. He smiles slightly and nods. 

"Just making sure you didn't accidentally miss someone." 

"Why would I tell anyone this? He was underage." 

"What happened when Louis let what was going on slip out?" He says, quickly changing the subject. 

I frown. "Our parents were called, but he got us out of trouble..."

****

I wait for Louis to get out of school, leaning against the car. I'd been waiting all day to see Louis, and I'm sure he has been waiting to see me, so I thought it would a nice surprise to pick him up. I smile as the school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. I scan the crowd of students filing out. 

I finally spot Louis with a couple other boys, and when he comes near me, I hear him bring me up. I can barely hear what he says. 

"My brother's dick is really big, and it feels so good. It's like-" Louis pauses, looking at the shocked look of his friends. His big smile soon disappears when they start laughing. 

"You fuck your brother?" One of them says, laughing. Louis quickly laughs it off. 

"No, no I don't. I was just messing around!" His friends laugh, shaking their head. 

"Whatever, Lou. Isn't that him?" One says, pointing to me. Louis looks at me, an incredibly scared look on his face, like he knew he'd fucked up by letting this slip out. I frown at him as he nods a quick goodbye to his friends and runs over to me. 

"Harry! I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to-" 

"Get in the car." I say sternly, not looking at him. He grabs my hand. 

"Harry please don't be mad!" He pleads, tugging my hand. I look at him, and am shocked to see he's almost crying. "Please don't be mad at me." He says, his voice cracking. I sigh, closing my eyes. I take my hand back and open the door for him, watching as he steps in quietly, looking down. I get in the driver's side and shake my head. 

"I hope you're happy, Louis. Now we're going to get in trouble. Now we can't do this anymore." I say, pissed. 

"It was an accident!" He shouts. "I love you Harry and I want you!" He starts sobbing. "I'm so sorry!" He puts his face in his hands, unable to hold back his cries, truly believing that this would stop, terrified that I wouldn't love him anymore now that he's told. I sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder. He quiets slowly, wiping his eyes and looking at me. I lean in, planting a small kiss on his lips which he gratefully takes, leaning into it, wanting it to last. 

"We'll talk at home, ok? Here's not the place." I say quietly. By then, I already knew I'd have to punish him, and he would be quite bruised by the next morning.

****

"Excuse me for interrupting, Harry, but what exactly do you mean by punish?" The psychiatrist says. I smile devilishly. I fold my hands in my lap, shifting my position in my chair. 

"I hit him. Over and over again. God, it was delicious, his begging me to stop, just to stop hitting him and to just fuck him...It did things to me that almost nothing else could." I say, smiling at the wicked memory. The psychiatrist now has a somewhat sickened look on his face as he tried to comprehend what I've just said, but he realizes this is unprofessional. 

"Continue. What happened exactly after you took him home?" 

"Well..."

****

I stand over the crying, pleading Louis. He lays on his back on the bed, covering his face. I climb on top of him, grabbing his wrists and forcing them above his head, staring him in the eyes, his beautiful blue eyes terrified of what I could do. He gasps as I latch onto his neck, sucking hard. 

"Never gonna fucking do that again, are you?" I say harshly, my grip on wrists tightening. 

"No!" He gasps."I won't, ever!" He tugs on his wrists, hoping to relieve some of my grip, but I let him go. "Please, just..." He struggles with the words. "Please, can we just fuck?" I stare at him, shocked. He's never asked. "Just don't hit me anymore.." His voice has dropped to a whisper. I sigh. 

"Ok...I think you've learned your lesson..." I murmur before forcing myself into him, not preparing him at all. He cries out loudly, painfully. Fresh tears brim in his eyes as he grips my shoulders. "Be quiet. Mum will be home in a few minutes." I whisper in his eyes as I slam into him, rough and not so forgiving. My hand slides to cover his mouth as he cries out again as I hit his spot. He claws at my hand to try and move it away from his mouth so he can breathe, but I'm not done yet.

****

"Stop." The psychiatrist says, holding up his hand. "Don't go on with that." He rubs his temples, closing his eyes. "How did...How did Louis' react to all of this? What you did, how you treated him that day?" 

"He was...well, a little off for a few days. He didn't let anyone touch him except for me, and didn't talk very much. He refused to go to school and stuck by my side the days he didn't. I guess what I did made him realize he was mine, and only mine, and he was to tell no one that he was." 

The psychiatrist sighs. "After this happened?" 

"Things went back to 'normal'."I stated. "I continued to dominate him and nobody found out." 

He nods. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it. He seems to hesitate before speaking next. "Now, Harry...when Louis turned seventeen, how did you feel?" 

I feel my insides twist and snap and break into pieces at the thought of my little Louis turning seventeen, but mainly at the events that took place. "I really don't want to talk about it." I say with a shaky, broken smile. I felt myself breaking under the heavy weight his seventeenth birthday put on me. 

"This is why you're here in the psychiatric ward, Harry. What happened on His seventeenth birthday?" He asks again. I shake my head, closing my eyes and leaning foreword, putting my face in my hands. 

"No." I say, muffled. "I can't." 

"What happened on Louis' birthday, Harry." 

I can't do it. I can't bring myself to recall what happened. I shake my head furiously, the memories flooding back. "No!" I shout. 

"What. Happened." He demands again. I feel my hands get wet with fresh tears, and I realize I have no choice but to spill it. 

"It was early..."

****

Louis creeps into my bed quietly, gently. His arms slowly wrap around my body, holding me close. I can't help but to smile. My little Louis was all grown up. I turn to face him with a smile. 

"Happy birthday, Baby..." I murmur, taking his chin and kissing him deeply. He smiles against my lips and kisses me back, letting my tongue into his mouth. I pull him close, holding him tight. 

"Thanks." He whispers breathlessly. 

"I'm gonna fuck you so good." I growl in his ear as I move to his neck to suck. "So fucking good." I listen as he moans, his fingers diving into my hair, gripping tightly. 

"Fuck, baby." He gasps as I reach into his shorts, grabbing his dick. "I can't wait." He murmurs as I begin to pump hand. I feel as his body begins to tremble against mine, teeming with sexual wanting of me. I grin at him. 

"How bad do you want me?" I say. "Tell me how bad." 

"So bad." He moans. "I want you so badly!" He moves his hips in time to my hand, and right before he cums, I take my hand back. 

"Ok." I get on top of him, quickly discarding our clothing. I gently rock into him, hitting him just right. He grips the headboard behind him, biting his lip, trying to keep back a moan. He rocks along to the movement of my hips, and I soon get lost in his delicious moans, his tight little ass, his small frame under mine, and before I know it, my hands are all over him. 

Each thrust gets deeper, harder, rougher. My hands grip his hips tight, almost too tight. 

But I'm not in control. My lust has taken over. 

I move my hands to his shoulders, his cries and moans filling me with dark pleasure. I think he's saying something, but I can't hear him over the blood pounding in my ears, my blurred, sexed vision. I don't know what comes over me, but I do something I might regret. 

My hands wrap around his neck, tightening with each second that passes. His hands grab mine, trying to force them off and away from him, but I don't listen to his pleas. I just don't let him go. 

Soon enough, his hands stop struggling, stopping their movement, becoming limp. I reach my orgasm, and my vision clears up. I come back down into consciousness, suddenly realizing what I had done. My hands shake as I move them away from Louis neck, my breathing completely stopping, my heart skipping several beats. 

"No." I say, barely audible. "No." I repeat. I repeat this, over and over, furiously shaking Louis, trying so desperately to bring him back. In my frantic state, I don't know what do. I begin to scream. Louder than ever. 

I scream. 

I cry. 

I try and try to get him awake. 

But nothing works. 

Nothing brings him back.

****

I'm sobbing by now, and I can't contain my emotions. I cry and I cry at the thought if Louis' lifeless body beneath mine, the thought of my little Louis, the little boy I fell in love with, dead. The boy I had killed. 

"Thank you, for sharing this, Harry." The psychiatrist murmurs, writing a few last things down before standing. "This was a good session, Harry, I'm glad you finally opened up to me." I try to stop crying, and I barley manage to pull myself together before the nurses rush in. 

"No! I'm fine!" I scream. "I don't need them!" I say, backing away from them. 

"No, Mr. Styles, you're anything but! Look at your wrists! How many times have you tried to kill yourself since Louis' death?" The psychiatrist shouts back at me. "Six times, Harry! You're a very sick man and you need help! I wish all the best to you, Mr. Styles!" He leaves briskly without another word. 

The nurses grab my arms and pull me out of the room, leading me down the quiet hall that holds no sound but my terrorized, tortured, haunted screams.

~*FIN*~


	2. SEQUEL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little view of things through harry's eyes

I sit there on my bed in the middle of the room, looking around the boring white walls, digging my nails into my upper arms, hoping for pain to distract me from the pounding thoughts and voices in my head that drive me mad. I close my eyes, but all I see is Louis. 

I knew telling him everything would only bring everything back. Why did I? I feel tears spring to my eyes when I hear his strangled gasps. 

"No." I whisper to myself, covering my ears. "No. No. No." I shake my head as they get louder, and louder, and louder until its all I hear. "Stop!" I scream, full on sobbing. They quiet, but that doesn't bring me any solace. I can't stop crying, I can't stop seeing Louis whenever I close my eyes, I can't get him out of my head. I wipe my eyes, just trying to stop. I manage to quiet myself down after a while, and I sit with my face in my hands, feeling broken and twisted inside. 

It hurts. My chest hurts. My arms hurt. My hands hurt from gripping my arms so hard. My head hurts. All I am is hurt. 

I look up when the door to my room opens, a nurse walking in. I stare a him a little before his looks hit me like a brick wall. 

His eyes are blue, his hair is down in a fringe, he's quite short, and his face...it's Louis'. 

I back against the head frame of my bed, away from Louis. He smiles at my. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Styles. How we feeling after this morning's little incident, hm?" His voice rings perfectly, not a flaw, just like Louis. But then again, it is Louis. Right? 

"Get me out of here." I snap. I didn't want to be here with Louis. I can't stand looking at him. 

"No, you have to take your medications. C'mon now-" 

"Get away from me!" I shout when he tries to hand me pills. He takes a few steps back and his friendly smile falters. 

"Uh. Er. Well, I'll just leave these here." He sets them on the night table. "Please take them." He whispers and walks out, shaking his head. 

I'm surprised. Louis didn't seem the least bit angry with me. I would've expected him to after what I had done, but I don't argue with myself. I put my face back in my hands, trying to shake him from my memory. I shake my head furiously when all I see is the submissive, young boy. 

All I see is Louis. 

"All you see is me?" A crystal clear voice rings from another corner of the room. My head darts up to see Louis standing in the corner. He looks like he did before I killed him, beautiful and sixteen. "That's so sweet, baby." He murmurs with a shy smile. He walks over to me, and I'm paralyzed. 

"Louis." I whisper. I don't want him to come any closer. I want him to go away and leave me alone and stop tormenting me! His hand brushes my cheek, his hand freezing cold. I feel my heart skip a beat when he leans into to plant a small kiss on my lips. 

He was so cold, so so cold, not warm like my Louis. I finally gain enough strength to push myself away. 

"Leave! Get out! Go away and leave me alone!" I shout, gripping the sides of my head, fisting my curls. "Leave!" His playful chuckle sounds throughout the room. 

"Baby, I'm only here to return the favor. You gave me seven good years of being with you." He steps closer, and I stand against the wall by the door, ready to scream if he doesn't leave. "Now, now." He purrs, stepping closer. 

"Fuck!" I scream. "Leave me alone! I can't take this anymore!" I close my eyes tightly, hoping when I open my eyes he's gone, but when I open them again, he's only a foot away, and he's different. He's naked, bruised, and beaten, obviously marks I had made. I stare him up and down, realizing now just how badly I'd treated him. 

His thighs were the worst, showing how tight I'd gripped him while fucking him relentlessly. His forearms were next, he turns them over so I can get a better view, and his wrists are purple. Clearly, that's where I'd gripped too tight when I held his arms above his head. His cheeks were also bruised, from when I beat him, and he has black eye. I almost shove him away, to get rid of what I see next. 

His neck is deeply bruised, the bruises shaped exactly like my hands, the hands I had killed him with. His bruised and beaten body steps foreword, and I have no where to go, as I'm against the wall. I sink to the floor, putting my face in my hands, realizing he wants payback, not only showing me exactly how bad I'd treated him, but to murder me the same way he'd died. I shake my head, repeating 'no, no, no' in a hushed whisper. 

I scream when a hand touches my shoulder, and I flail about helplessly, unable to open my eyes to see how my death went. 

"Harry! Harry it's me!" someone shouts, gripping my shoulders. But I can barely understand him as I try to shove him off. "It's only Niall, Harry!" I freeze. Niall. I open my eyes. Nurses stand in the doorway, prepared to sedate. "He's fine, there's no need for that." Niall murmurs. 

When I look at him, my beautiful best friend, he's just as I vaguely remember; blonde hair with brunette roots barely showing, sparkly blue eyes, all in all a pretty man. He smiles a perfect smile. His braces are gone. 

"Babe. You look so tired. Have you been getting sleep?" He asks, sitting on the floor in front of me. I shake my head. 

"No." I respond, looking at him. He sighs sadly, looking at the floor. 

"Is it because of-" 

"It's because I talked about him." I say quickly, before he can say his name. "I had shoved everything away and was so close to being out of here, but I spilled everything, every detail!" 

"Harry, you had to. You were so depressed before, didn't it help to talk about him?" His tone is concerned. He's always cared about me. 

"No. It did anything but help. I remember everything and I'm seeing him everywhere now. It hasn't even been a day and already he's invaded my mind and I'm scared. I can't face him and I just want him gone!" I shout, and Niall hugs me close to calm me down. His grip is gentle, to keep me calm. 

"It's ok, Harry. Everything will be over soon." His voice is suddenly cracked, as if in pain. "Zayn and Liam want to drop by for a little while, to see you." 

"Later. I'm so tired today. Tomorrow, ok?" I whisper, suddenly wiped. I feel Niall nod against my curls, and he backs away, gently stroking my cheek. 

"Feel better, Harry." He murmurs, standing up and walking out. I watch as the door closes and locks, then I look around, praying Louis doesn't come back. After ten minutes, I decide he won't and I lay in my bed, to try and sleep.

****

Maybe I haven't been completely honest. I hid a few things that I didn't think mattered. Niall, Zayn, and Liam all knew about Louis and what he and I did, and though they weren't accepting, they were my closest friends and agreed to keep it hidden. I was thankful for that, but I often forget about them. Forget they were there for me. 

Perhaps they hate me. Do they? Niall sure didn't, but I haven't faced Zayn and Liam in so long, perhaps half a year's time. I didn't know how they would react to me being in the loony bin, to how I look, to how crazy and fucked up I am. Maybe they would let everything go. 

I don't know, but I dream of nothing. I think of nothing. And I wake up to nothing.

****

I sit up slowly, looking around. The room is empty. I slept. I rub my eyes, yawning. 

I feel wind blow in my ear, and turn to it. 

There's Louis. 

I freeze, my heart stopping. 

"Hey babe." He whispers in my ear, gently kissing my cheek. "I don't think you let me finish showing myself to you yesterday." He turns to sit on my lap, and I can feel him there, as if he's real, as if he's actually here. I close my eyes, trying to start breathing again. I take a few shallow breaths before I can manage to say something. 

"Please leave." I choke out. He chuckles. 

"No, I'm not done with you. Why don't you take a look at my neck again, hm?" He says. I refuse to open my eyes to look at him. I can't stand it. I begin to shake, my hands gripping the sheets, trying to get a grip. "You saw what you did to me, these horrible bruises. I don't blame you. Can I tell my side of the story?" 

I frantically try to get my thoughts together, to string words into a sentence to form a suitable response. 

"Louis, plea-" 

"Thank you." He interrupts. He slides off my lap to sit beside me, and I finally gain the courage to look at him. He's smiling, preparing his story. 

"Please Louis, leave." I plead. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. 

"So, when all that shit started happening, when I was only ten fucking years old, that's when I first began loving you. You made me feel so good, and I thought you loved me." He laughs at this. "Man, was I dumb. And every time you fucked me, I felt just a little more special. But, then when I got older I began to think more, I began to open my eyes and understand everything. You kept me away from my friends, from school, from mum and dad, from everything except you." He pauses. I stop breathing as tears spring to my eyes, blurring my vision. 

"You told me I wasn't worthy for anyone except you, I wasn't good enough for anybody but you, and boy were you a piece of shit. You were complete and total shit to me and STILL trusted you. I still loved you. And then," he laughs. "When I went out with a friend, and I kissed her," he smiles, but he's choking up. "You threatened to kill me if I did it again." 

I had indeed done that. 

"And that's when I got more careful. I kept my mouth shut about anything, and when you came to pick me from school that one day, and I was talking to my friends about you...I feared for my life when you took me home. Then you beat the living shit out of me. That's when I started feeling like nothing. That's when I started to hate myself. You put it through my head that I was a whore, and a slut, and no good, and I hated myself." He wipes his eyes. 

I stare, unable to comprehend what I'd done to him. Had I really? I couldn't remember much. 

"But I couldn't do anything to my body. Because you'd see and hurt me more. You saw every inch of me every night. I just wanted it all to end, but I kept it up for you!" He shouts. "I did everything for you and I got shit in return!" He cries. "You fucking murdered me! I wasn't even and adult yet! I barely got to live my life, and YOU took it! You took all of my life and turned it to shit!" By now he's nearly screaming and I have to cover my ears. I close my eyes tight as he continues to scream at me. 

My head begins to pound with his repeated screams of "I hate you!" "I fucking hate you!", over and over and over. It bangs around in my head a million times, the sounds of the phrases overlapping each other and driving me completely crazy. Over and over, around and around this cycle goes on as I begin to sob loudly. I've had enough. The screams don't stop and my tears fall endlessly as I cry, just wanting everything to stop. 

And I lose it, screaming at the top of my lungs to drown out the dreadful, hateful words pounding at my brain. I scream, and I kick, and I fist my curls, tugging, just to distract myself from the horrid words. Nurses barge in , but I barely notice as they sedate me, and I pass out to the three words I dreaded the most, "I hate you".

****

"I hope you're better now." Louis murmurs as he sits on the dresser. "I kinda lost it the other day." He chuckles. I say nothing. I do nothing but stare at the wall in front of me. I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm done. I turn to him, and he frowns. "You look awful." 

I reach under the bed and pull out from under the mattress a shard of glass I found one day and press it to my wrist. 

Fuck this. 

Fuck suffering. 

Fuck this torture. 

Fuck being alive. 

I knew this would be my last attempt, because I would do it right. I press hard and make a long, red, vertical line down the length if my forearm and watch as the blood pours from it. I just watch. I grow dizzy quickly, tired, and I feel no pain and the voice nagging at me to just let Louis stay is finally quiet. I'm finally done. Louis merely smiles.

"Idiot."

*****

~*FIN*~


End file.
